Choose The Attitude of Gratitude

Tonight at dinner, I looked around the table and paused for a moment to take in the joy, laughter, conversation and closeness between my four children and me. As I moved to the sink to do the dishes, I pondered my relationship with my children, their emotional health, and how we got to this moment in time.

Just over four years ago, I was scared out of my mind that a divorce would rob my children of their childhood and completely ruin their lives. I had concerns about them having daddy issues later in life or issues with self-esteem and self-worth. From the moment I conceived my first child, I wanted to be the best mommy I could possibly be. I read books, learned from experienced parents and analyzed the consequences of each parenting move that I might make. Each night as I lay down to sleep, I recapped how I felt I did as a mom that day and came up with ways to improve the next day. Our days were carefree and loving, and my babies were sheltered from most toxic environments and people. My life revolved around my children and their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

When the rug got pulled out from underneath us, I was more concerned about how my children would regain their sense of stability and security, than how I would do. I temporarily placed myself on the back burner and focused everything I had on them. It is truly amazing what we can do when it comes to the well-being of our children. We have super powers and strength that only emerge when we feel like our children’s lives or ways of living are being threatened. I felt my inner strength build through every cell of my body, as I realized that I must be the lighthouse in the storm. My children were depending on me to model for them, how we face tragedy, how we handle adversity with grace, and how we forgive and extend prayers and compassion to those who have chosen to walk a different path in life. They looked to me to decide how they should feel about the situation. I equate it with how a child responds to falling down. A child falls down and then looks to her parent to see what the “appropriate” response should be. If the parent freaks out, the child freaks out. If the parents stays calm and collected, the child will too. It is a learned perspective that comes from modeling. Granted, in my case, each of my children had his or her own emotional struggles, and it was my job to be there to support them, listen, and validate their concerns. But more so, it was my job to guide them and equip them with the tools they needed to navigate through this bump in the road.

The day their dad moved out, we spent the day sled riding at a local park, then went to a friend’s house, where the children played in the snow and got pulled around on a sled attached to a four wheeler. I even jumped on, screaming at every turn. I wanted my loves to remember a day of joy and laughter, spent with friends. But at the end of the day when it came time to go home, I had a choice to make. That choice would ultimately set the tone for how our family would heal through this difficult time. We could either go home and feel powerless, alone, and abandoned, or we could shift our focus to gratitude and set the tone for healing ourselves and creating a spectacular life. Because we are so deserving, I chose the latter.

Before returning home, we went to the store and bought poster board, glitter, sequins, rhinestones, colored markers, and anything else we could think to make a large poster. In big sequin and glitter letters, we wrote, “living in gratitude of…” From there, each person started writing or drawing on the poster, focusing on the gifts for which he or she was thankful. As the days passed, whenever we would think of something else we were thankful for, we would add it to the poster. One day as I walked past the poster, I noticed that one of my children had added to the poster that she was thankful for our new family unit. It warmed my heart when I realized that my beautiful children were embracing adversity as a blessing for their own growth and development. They found the gift in it.

The road has been long, but our family has been powerful and close. Our gratitude poster, which still hangs on one of our doors, was just the first step on our new path. But it set the stage for the mindset with which we would navigate through our changing family unit and for whatever life brings us. Something so little created something so big. It helped shape the minds and hearts of my babies, who are some of the most stable, emotionally and spiritually healthy teenagers I have had the privilege to know.

When challenges are placed before you, you choose how you are going to respond. You can resist what happening and fight it every step of the way, learning nothing but how to suffer more. Or you can embrace and accept the challenges, knowing that there is a reason for everything. When you accept what life is offering you, you open up to the opportunity for emotional and spiritual expansion and peace of mind. When you live with the attitude of gratitude, you access the happiness that exists within you more readily.

It doesn’t take a life changing event to shift your mindset. You can introduce the attitude of gratitude into your life at any time. Place your energy on the goodness in your life, and you will attract more goodness. It’s a domino effect. So go ahead! Infuse gratitude into your life. Make a poster. Shout it from the rooftops. Inspire your children to spread the attitude. Count your blessings, and then sit back and FEEL the happiness that can’t help but find you!