Each week, there is at least one situation that comes up that may present a challenge or obstacle to my day. Maybe it is the unexpected change of plans, or something someone else does that impacts my path that day. Or maybe it is having an unmet need arise. In most of those situations, I am able to adjust relatively rapidly, with clarity and ease. However, every once in a while, something will come up that immediately puts me into a fight or flight reaction. Admittedly, if I am in fight or flight, it inevitably has something to do with a perceived threat to my children’s physical or emotional well-being. Being aware of my body and my emotions, I immediately start to notice the changes in my body. First, I notice an incredible surge of adrenalin and my heart rate starts to increase. My blood pressure starts to rise and my body starts to feel warmer. Until I have a clear action plan on how to handle the situation, I feel a sense of anxiety or uneasiness within me.
Just this morning, my children brought to my attention, a situation that was directed at them by an adult that is supposed to be a role model. As they shared their stories and it became clear to me that this adult was possibly introducing a threat to their sense of well-being and emotional health, my fight or flight response started to kick in. However, as soon as I realized the uncomfortable feelings it was creating in my body, I made the conscious decision to move towards comfort and accept what was happening. From the place of acceptance, I was able to assess the situation more clearly, and determine if this one individual’s words and actions were indeed a threat to my children’s well-being. For me this morning, the gift in acceptance was that I could see my choices clearly, and I decided to not put my body through unnecessary stress. In the end, my choice was to help my children understand and accept from where this individual comes, teaching them acceptance and compassion. It also allowed me the opportunity to communicate with them about not allowing other people’s limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns to infiltrate and cause toxicity to their minds and bodies. Further, this situation gave me opportunity to affirm their wholeness and purity.
Have you ever noticed what happens within you when you encounter a challenge or a bump in your day? How many times do you spend the entire day or week in internal dialogue and expending energy rehashing the story about what happened…over and over and over, to anyone who will listen, seeking validation of your feelings but offering no real solution? This is the norm, for the most part, when it comes to how many people handle unexpected events and situations. Everybody needs to vent and release what is happening. And that part is okay. But at some point, it becomes an unhealthy practice to continue to fight what is happening. The constant dialogue and resistance adds stress and toxicity to your body and mind. Anxiety builds, a sense of uneasiness pervades your body, and you realize that you have no control over the situation. This is when you have a choice to make. Whittled down to two choices, you can either stay stuck in the resistance of what is happening, or you can accept the situation as is.
When you choose to accept what is in front of you, it begins to loosen its grip on you. It loosens its grip on your heart rate, your blood pressure, your anxiety, and uneasiness. It allows you to shift your energy from fighting the Universe to going with the flow of the Universe. When you settle into the flow, you are better able to access creative solutions to the challenge in front of you, or to see the situation from a different perspective. Sometimes when faced with a challenge and are in fight or flight mode, you can only see the threat to your personal boundary. But when you move towards acceptance, the threat starts to dissipate and you can breathe more easily and see solutions more clearly.
It is not always easy to turn a situation around, especially when you react in the way you typically would. Doing just this one thing the next time you are faced with a challenge and feeling the resistance of the situation, will help you handle your stress with more ease. When you have encountered a situation that does not feel good, start to notice how your body feels. Can you feel your heart rate and blood pressure rising? Do you have a knot at the pit of your stomach? Does your jaw clench as you think about the events of the situation? Do you feel anxiety of not being in control of the situation? Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply for 3 minutes through your nostrils. Then settle into the fact that the situation has happened, and set the intention to move into an attitude of acceptance. Go with the flow. The effects on your body will be noticeable within moments. You will being to access calm and an easiness about you. And from there, you can think about creative solutions.